by Caroline Leach | May 29, 2016 | Learning, Social Media, Work/Life
If you’re gritty, should you let it show?
That was the essential question in The Atlantic‘s article this month, Is Grit Overrated?
In it, Jerry Useem applies Angela Duckworth‘s research on grit to our careers.
Grit, the persistent pursuit of a passion, is key to accomplishment. Yet most people would be happy not to know how hard you worked.
Useem cites research by Chia-Jung Tsay of University College London. It showed that people prefer perceived natural talents over those whose striving and hard work is more apparent.
Why? Here Duckworth has a best guess. It’s that “we don’t like strivers because they invite self-comparisons.” And we can often find ourselves lacking.
Or perhaps it’s because the effortless and frictionless experience is desirable in all areas of our lives. This is especially true in the customer experience with our favorite brands.
Think of the level of technology we interact with on a daily basis. The networks that carry our communications. The electric and computing technology that fuel our cars. The social media that connect us around the globe.
We want and expect an effortless experience. Every time.
In addition to the complexity of our lives that demands an effortless experience, history and human nature play roles. “Make your accomplishments appear effortless,” is one of The 48 Laws of Power that Robert Greene penned.
Greene cited the Japanese tea ceremony and the contributions of Sen no Rikyu in the 16th century. The art of the tea ceremony was heightened by its seeming effortlessness. Showing the effort behind the work ruined the effect.
Greene also drew from the Renaissance court writings of Baldassare Castiglione, author of The Book of the Courtier in 1528. Castiglione advised members of the royal court to carry out their duties with “sprezzatura, the capacity to make the difficult seem easy.”
He went on to write, “practice in all things a certain nonchalance which conceals all artistry and makes whatever one says or does seem uncontrived and effortless.”
In our world of social media, where people appear to live perfectly curated lives, this takes some reality checks on the back end.
When the actor Rob Lowe took his oldest son to college, he advised him beautifully when his son expressed doubts about his ability to succeed. Lowe describes this in a tear-jerking chapter of his book Love Life.
“Dad, what if it’s too hard for me here?” his son asked. “None of the other kids look scared at all.”
The elder Lowe’s response is something we should remind ourselves of every day: “Never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.”
As you pursue a passion with perseverance and balance it with the appearance of effortlessness, remember this: It takes tremendous work behind the scenes to accomplish anything great.
Don’t ever give up. Keep your grit to yourself. And make sure your children understand the hard work that happens beneath the surface.
by Caroline Leach | May 7, 2016 | Change, Corporate Communications, Learning, Social Media
Did you catch two great books that came out this month? Grit by Angela Duckworth and TED Talks by Chris Anderson were both released on May 3.
More to come on TED in a future post, and for the 6-minute version of Grit, watch the TED talk. Dive into Grit the book for more on the science behind the concept. This answered 3 key questions for me.
First, what is grit? Duckworth defines it as “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” More than talent and intelligence, grit is what ultimately makes people successful in achieving their goals.
She said in her TED talk that “Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
Are you curious to see how gritty you are? Test yourself on the Grit Scale.
Second, what can be life-changing about grit? You don’t have to possess natural talent or off-the-charts intelligence in order to do great things. In fact, “natural talent” may simply be the outcome of a lot of hard work behind the scenes that ultimately comes to appear effortless.
If you have passion for something and decide to persevere no matter what, you have an excellent chance of achieving your goal. So says the science in Duckworth’s studies.
Third, what does this mean for your life? It means you don’t have any excuses. You can no longer say you don’t have what it takes to accomplish a goal in your area of passion. You have to own up to the fact that you didn’t work hard enough.
Does that mean you should never throw in the towel on something? Of course not. There are times when you need to cut your losses and move on. Just don’t do it too soon. Give yourself time to move beyond the inevitable period of being bad at something new, with thanks here to Erika Andersen.
How has grit made a difference? A few years ago, my daughter was struggling in her first AP class in high school. She missed the deadline to level down to a regular class. A few academic advisors later told her they could move her to a lower class and suggested that she avoid future AP courses.
To my surprise (and delight), my daughter said no. She wanted to finish the course. And finish she did. She eked by with a passing, but not great, grade in the course. But she got a qualifying score on the exam, one that will give her college credit. And she went on to take other AP courses, with better grades and better scores. All because she chose to persevere.
You’ve probably faced times like those in your life and your career. I can think of more than a few. When launching a new way to work with social collaboration a few years ago, I had moments of terror. How would we do it? How would we manage through the inevitable mistakes? How would we make it successful?
The day our beta test launched, I decided I would start a blog. The purpose? To create a safe learning environment for others. To role model the use of the new platform. And to learn by doing so I could advise other leaders on starting their own blogs.
It wasn’t easy, admitting what I didn’t know. Making mistakes. Asking the community for help in how to perform seemingly simple functions, like creating hyperlinks. Or launching a project on Social Media for Innovation in partnership with Gerry Ledford of USC’s Center for Effective Organizations. But that’s how I learned.
A fierce level of tenacity existed among the people on my team at the time who were leading the project – Michael Ambrozewicz and Thyda Nhek Vanhook. And we had tremendous colleagues in our I.T. organization, starting from Frank Palase to Brian Ulm and many, many others.
How did we do? I knew we’d achieved success when people started talking about the platform in meetings. When I’d walk by a conference room and see a platform screen displayed on a monitor. When I worked with our CEO to launch his leadership blog. And when nearly 90% of our employees were using the platform to do their daily work more efficiently.
In those moments when you want to shut down and walk away from a seemingly unsolvable problem, what works best is to do the opposite. Take some kind of action. Any action. Get feedback from others. Adjust your path. And keep moving forward.
How do you persevere on your most important goals?
by Caroline Leach | May 1, 2016 | Change, Learning
Leaping is my theme for 2016.
It was partially inspired by Tara Sophia Mohr from her book Playing Big.
What’s a leap?
It’s something that “has you playing bigger right now, is simple, and can be completed in one to two weeks, gets your adrenaline flowing, and puts you in contact with the people/audience/customers/stakeholders you want to reach through your playing bigger.”
So when I finished my April adventure yesterday, I wrote a blog post about what I’ve learned from blogging every day for the last month. I knew I needed to share it more broadly than my usual tweet, sometimes supplemented by a status update in LinkedIn.
Yet I didn’t want to do it. The tweet was easier. Been there, done that. The LinkedUp update was fine. Then it was time to try out InstaQuote for an Instagram post of the post’s image and title. Okay. Easy enough.
The bar got harder with Facebook. I’ve only shared a blog post among friends once before. I don’t want to be “that person” in social media. The one that people get tired of hearing from and quietly put on mute. To spare your feelings and theirs.
And then I remembered a great post about in Inc. by Chris Winfield. In writing about how to stop procrastination, he got to the root cause. Why do we procrastinate?
Because “we believe that taking action will cause us a certain amount of pain.”
Yep. I was trying to avoid pain. Of potential ridicule. Of being ignored.
Chris recommends a powerful way to move beyond it. Ask yourself, “What can you do in the next three minutes that will move something forward? What’s one small action that you can take right now?”
It’s very similar to David Allen‘s system for getting things done. It’s all about clarity on the next action.
For me, it was a Facebook post. What’s the next action for you?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 30, 2016 | Change, Learning, Work/Life
At the beginning of this month, I started an April adventure. What was it? To complete each of my daily dozen tasks every day for an entire month.
Why did I do it? To experiment. To create change. To get more done. To make decisions. To enjoy life more.
Here’s what I learned. Most of it was from blogging every day for a month, the one activity I did faithfully every day.
1. It’s easier doing things on most days, rather than every day. Sometimes the day’s schedule precluded doing everything on my list. And some activities shouldn’t be done daily, like lifting weights.
Days when I traveled called for extra creativity. For exercise, that meant getting in some steps while waiting at the airport. It also meant packing lighter “athletic” shoes that would fit in my bag so I could use the hotel fitness center.
They were a pair of slip-on Keds that took up a sliver of space in my bag compared with my usual workout shoes. A podiatrist might disagree, but they worked for 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill. The longer-term solution? When I replace my current workout shoes, I’ll get a smaller, lighter pair.
The benefit of doing an activity every day is that you don’t have to think about it. That makes it easier to do on a consistent basis. But once it’s become a habit, it’s easier to do it on most days of the week, rather than every day.
2. To make a new habit stick, focus on just one each month. Some days had a breathless quality of racing through activities to check them off the list. Some were already automatic, like taking vitamins. But others required chunks of time, like blogging, reading, exercising and sleeping. Even doubling up on activities didn’t fully do the trick.
What will work better? Focusing on one area each month. That’s inspired by Gretchen Rubin‘s year-long happiness project. She focused on one area of life each month for a year. In the final month, she combined all of her newly established habits and rituals.
So I’ll take my daily dozen, with a few tweaks, and assign each to a month over the coming year. The month of May? It’s a tossup between healthy eating and sleep.
Four years ago, on Mother’s Day, I became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers after losing nearly 50 pounds. And while thankfully I’m not the person who regained all of the weight and more, I would not keep my membership (within 2 pounds of goal) if I went to a weigh-in today.
It’s a struggle, this constant vigilance and self-care. The words of a Weight Watchers leaders still ring in my ears, “It ain’t over ’til you’re over.” How true.
So this May will be the month of healthy eating. Back to the healthful simplicity of the “power foods” – fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nonfat dairy and lean protein.
3. Clarify what you most enjoy by analyzing how you spend your time. What do you most love to do? One of mine is writing. It’s usually a guaranteed flow state, every time.
My April adventure clarified this because blogging was the one activity I did daily (other than taking vitamins, which I’m choosing not to count because it was already a well-established habit and takes only a minute to complete).
Whether it’s writing a report a work, or an inspiration for a community charity organization or this blog, I love to write. So I’ll focus on areas where I can do more than that.
4. Celebrate progress. One of my purposes in blogging daily was to clarify the focus of this blog. It began as an exploration of the future of corporate communications. Then it evolved into a learning journey, with a focus on the data analytics aspect of a career pivot.
And while I didn’t fully crystallize the focus of this blog, I did make progress. I know what I can take off the list. While I’ll still devote learning time to reading blogs and books about data analytics, along with some online courses, that specifically won’t be the focus of this blog.
I’ll continue to write about learning in general. It’s something we’ll all need to do throughout our lives, regardless of the the specific subject.
In my work, I’m intrigued by the intersection between data science and communication. As I find a way to link the two in an interesting way, that may be the subject of some future blog posts.
5. The more effortless you make your goals, the easier is it to accomplish them. With WordPress on my MacBook, iPad and iPhone, I could draft and post to my blog wherever I was. My Spanish is app is the same – all I need is 10 minutes and I can do my lesson for the day. My library is with me all the time with my Kindle app. And so on.
This is where I was especially proud of my employer and the vision to connect people with their world, everywhere they live and work. (Opinions on this blog are mine.) This is a great enabler – perhaps the great enabler – of what’s the most important in each of our lives.
Other enablers? Keeping my yoga mat and workout gear in my car. Having my PFD (personal floatation device) stacked beside that for standup paddle boarding sessions.
6. Complimentary activities help you get the most out of your day. For me it’s walking on the treadmill and reading (or streaming favorite TV shows on my DIRECTV app).
Thinking about 3 things I’m grateful for in the last 24 hours while brushing my teeth (thank you, Shawn Achor).
Maximizing family interactions by sitting in the dining room while I’m reading or writing or whatever so when my teens stroll by and want to engage (yes, they can be like cats), I’m there. This works in an office environment with colleagues, too.
7. Don’t try to do too much. Yet doubling up on activities only works to a point. Sometimes I struggle with enjoying the present moment. Being fully there. Not racing ahead to the next thing that I feel needs to be done.
By consciously limiting the number of things and activities I commit to, I know I’ll do better in that smaller set of activities. Given my goal to blog daily, I feel the quality of my posts wasn’t always what I wanted it to be. I didn’t have time for research, for reflection and for revising.
But I did learn some helpful strategies. When I finished one post, I’d start a new draft post and jot down my ideas in a brief outline. Then when I re-opened it to start writing, the initial thinking was already done.
This goes back to the principle of taking small steps. It also relates to my Spanish studies. While I’m not devoting big chunks of time to it, I can spend a few minutes a day. Studies are showing this goes for exercise too.
8. If something isn’t working for you, let it go. I don’t have to do everything. If something isn’t a fit, I can let it go.
This is one of the reasons I’m excited to read Angela Duckworth‘s book on Grit when the pre-order downloads to my Kindle app on May 3. This guru of tenacity and perseverance says it can be okay to quit. Just not on your hardest day.
One of my daily dozen was 2 minutes of power posing, inspired by Amy Cuddy‘s book on Presence. I’d like to think it made me stand up and sit up straighter during the day, and to take up more space. Why? To feel more confident and live life more fearlessly.
But I don’t need to do it every day. I can save it for times when I have to give a big presentation or otherwise tackle a tough challenge.
9. Relationships with people are more important than checking tasks off a list. When my daughter or son wants to talk with me, I stop what I’m doing (as hard as that can sometimes be) and I listen and chat.
Here I’m inspired by Shonda Rhimes and her Year of Yes. Whenever her daughters asked her to play, she’d stop what she was doing to spend time with them. It doesn’t take long. But it means so much.
My daughter and I have had lots of chats this month – on the road and at home as she’s been choosing her college. It’s been a learning experience. Sometimes you don’t end up where you expected, but there can be a whole new world of possibilities. It all depends on your perspective.
10. Intense activity can’t solve all of your problems – or the world’s problems. There are still sad moments. Anxious moments. Frustrating moments. We live in a world that seemingly gets crazier and more unpredictable every day – with events that are beyond our control.
Keeping busy all the time won’t solve those problems. But it will help you make progress in your own life. And that’s what makes us happy.
11. We can still control an awful lot in our lives. Our minds – with thanks to Carol Dweck and her growth mindset concept. What we do – or don’t do – every day. How we show up and share our gifts. What we choose to do and who we do it with. Being clear about what we can control and what we can’t.
12. Love is all there is. My sister Katie shared this with my last year during a very sad time her family’s life. This was a favorite saying of her mother-in-law Sylvia, who was unexpectedly near the end of her life. It makes me smile through tears to think of Sylvia, Katie and the rest of the family.
But in the end, what could be more true? Love really is all there is.
As someone who’s all about achieving goals – sometimes with a relentless zeal that my immediate family enjoys teasing me about – this one made me stop and think. Especially this month as I figured out how to cram a lot in every day.
Life truly is about the people and the relationships.
And there’s always something to love about others. No matter who they are. It helps to remember that everyone is carrying a heavy load and traveling a difficult path, even if their life appears perfect on their Instagram feed. I’ve learned to be kinder to myself and to others.
Because love is all there is.
by Caroline Leach | Apr 29, 2016 | Learning
There was a Michael on my team whom people often called Mike. There was a Tina who preferred that to her full name of Christina. And now there’s a Stephen whom people have called everything from Steven to Stephan.
As a colleague, I feel a responsibility to help others get these names right. That includes the pronunciation and the preferred form. Michael doesn’t go by Mike. Tina doesn’t want to be called Christina. And I assume Stephen would like to hear his name pronounced the right way.
Why is this so important?
Keith Rollag shares some interesting reasons in his book, What To Do When You’re New.
He cites Dale Carnegie, who once said, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
And psychologist Gordon W. Allport wrote that, “The most important anchorage to our self-identity through life remains our name. One’s name, though only a symbol, is closely tied to one’s self-esteem as it is to one’s sense of self-identity.”
Rollag goes on to write that, “People are flattered when you remember their names, which creates something persuasion researchers call a ‘complimentary perception.'”
And he says that scientists have found that “we subconsciously prefer words containing the letters of our own name and even selectively pursue careers that sound like our own name (e.g., a disproportionate number of people named Dennis become dentists).”
Who knew? Perhaps this partly explains why, as a Caroline, I became a communicator.
Here are 3 ways to make sure you get names right:
Ask. When you meet someone new, ask for any clarification you need on their name. Did you pronounce it correctly? Do they go by a nickname? This repetition of their name will also help you remember it, according to Rollag’s chapter on remembering names.
Check. When sending an email or communicating via social media, check the correct spelling of someone’s name against their email address, social handle or signature line. And if you make a mistake, as I’ve done in transposing a first and last name, be quick to apologize and correct the error.
Model. If you’re in a meeting or on a call where someone is mispronouncing another person’s name, use that person’s name correctly during the course of the meeting. If that doesn’t work, you can let the person know one on one after the meeting wraps up.
How do you get names right?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 28, 2016 | Change, Learning, Work/Life
How do you celebrate your birthday?
As I contemplated mine today, I wondered what others do. Yes, there’s the fun of celebration, cake and congratulations. Yet what else makes the day extra special? What sets the stage for your next year ahead?
I’m not sure if this relentless focus on goals has to do with being a Taurus or an ENTJ. Or maybe the two are related.
But regardless, here goes . . .
Looking back. Just as I do as New Year’s Eve approaches, I reflect on the last year. I handwrite a list of highlights. How do I remember it all? My calendar and Evernote are helpful in jogging my memory.
This has a few benefits. First, I get to enjoy reliving the best moments of the year. And second, it makes me realize I accomplished a lot more than I might have thought.
Giving thanks. It’s easy to forget the blessings in our lives. A daily list of 3 things I’m grateful for in the last 24 hours has helped bring those blessings to the fore.
Happiness researcher Shawn Achor recently suggested a great twist on this. While you brush your teeth at night, think of 3 things you’re happy about.
And on a birthday, it’s the perfect time to take stock more broadly of what you’re grateful for. Family. Health. Career. Optimism. Perseverance. Possibilities. A favorite pet. Cupcakes. Anything that makes you happy.
Looking ahead. The logical next step is to look to the future. What’s exciting about the year ahead? What was learned in the previous year that can help shape the one ahead?
What are the bright spots that you can build on? This is a great concept from Chip Heath and Dan Heath in their bestseller Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard.
This is where you look for small things that are going well, you learn from them and apply them more broadly.
Enjoying the moment. What would make your day special? What would you most enjoy doing? While I love my career and my work, I take a vacation day on my birthday when I can. And I try to resist my usual tendency to over schedule.
What did that mean for today? Looking back and looking ahead. Enjoying a workout by the beach. Stopping by a beautiful local library. Spending time with family. Talking with my mom. Responding to heartwarming birthday wishes. Writing my daily blog post. A nice dinner with my husband.
Remembering my commitment not to over schedule, we’ll go standup paddle boarding and on an excursion over the weekend. I’m savoring the unusual feeling of not being rushed. The to-do lists and chores will still be there tomorrow.
Reading about what others do on their birthdays gave me a few new ideas.
Danielle LaPorte has 10 great ones. My favorite? “Make some outlandish wishes based on how you want to FEEL in the coming year. Desired. Free. Top of your game . . .”
Kevin F. Adler offers up 9. My favorites? “Have a party the evening before your actual birthday.” “Go on an adventure.” And “do something special that you’ve been wanting to do, but haven’t.”
This got me thinking about bringing something special into every day. Why wait for your birthday? What you can to do to enjoy every day?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 27, 2016 | Work/Life
What’s the secret to being happy?
A terrific post in Inc. this week by Josh Linkner explained why happiness is progress.
There’s something about moving toward your most important goals that’s more fulfilling than anything. Because life truly is about the journey, rather than the destination.
If you lead others, clearing the path for progress is one of the most important things you can do. Making measurable progress each day is what gives people a sense of accomplishment. Teresa Amabile covers it well in The Progress Principle.
How does progress make you happy?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 26, 2016 | Change, Learning
What do you write when you don’t know what to write?
This is similar to the concept of what to do when you don’t know what to do.
On my list of daily dozen activities in my April adventure are posting to this blog and writing down 3 things I’m grateful for in the last 24 hours.
Today I wasn’t sure what to blog about. It was a full day of meetings on highly disparate topics that involved many different people. I started to synthesize it all.
Then a thought occurred to me. What if I changed “what am I grateful for?” to “what did I learn today?”
Here goes.
An editorial calendar is a must to sustain daily blogging. It’s easier to post daily when I know in advance what I’m going to write about. When planning for a particularly busy day, I outline and start drafting a post the night before. But I’ve learned this month that an editorial calendar is even more important.
Collaborative work spaces help build relationships and momentum. Visiting a company location with an open-environment workspace this week reminded me of the value of face-to-face interactions. I moved around the floor between meetings and sat in high-traffic areas. At least 3 chance conversations helped accelerate some of the projects I’m working on.
People will share the most fascinating things if you ask questions and listen. Today was a lot about asking questions and hearing what a variety of people had to say. Now I’m synthesizing all of that input, identifying areas where more information would be valuable and doing follow-up actions.
No one has all the answers. Often in life, there’s no single right answer. There are a range of options, all with upsides and downsides. Talking with a lot of people helps generate additional options. It also reinforces that we’re all figuring things out as we go along. But working together, we’re stronger.
Be humble. This is one of the most important learnings through my career pivot. Often I’m researching concepts that are new to me or asking others a lot of questions. It’s part of being bad first that Erika Andersen articulated in her book of the same name. And it sure is humbling. Yet I’m also humbled by how generous and patient people are with sharing their expertise and perspectives.
What did you learn today?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 25, 2016 | Learning
How do you make the most of a virtual meeting, especially if you aren’t running it?
Here are 8 strategies to try for your next meeting.
Read materials in advance. If documents were circulated before the meeting, read them before the meeting. Jot down comments or questions that you want to address in the meeting.
Define what you want to accomplish. Make sure you know why you’re there. If you don’t, get clarity or don’t participate. Have 1 or 2 goals for what you want to get out of it or what you want to see happen as result.
Arrive 5 minutes early. Jumping on early allows you to greet people as they arrive and establish rapport through small talk. It’s a courtesy to your colleagues. And it signals that you’re organized in managing your time.
Turn on your webcam. Take advantage of technology by using the video feature. Establish eye contact and better connection with your colleagues. This will also keep you focused on the meeting, rather than on multi-tasking.
Establish rapport by asking about colleagues. If you’ve joined early and the meeting hasn’t officially begun, ask people how their day is going, what the weather’s like in their city or how another big project is progressing.
Project your voice with a smile. Even when speaking on the phone without video, I smile while I’m talking. Why? It makes your voice sound warmer, more knowledgable and more sincere.
Be one of the first people to jump in with a question or comment. Speaking up early establishes your presence in the meeting from the beginning. Colleagues will then look to you for your thoughts.
Be clear on next steps as the meeting wraps up. If the meeting leader doesn’t summarize next steps, offer up the next steps you will be taking. This often prompts the leader and others to do the same.
And when you’re in the driver’s seat, here’s what everyone should know about running virtual meetings. There are great strategies in Paul Axtell‘s post this month in Harvard Business Review.
What are your best virtual meeting strategies?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 24, 2016 | Learning
For many years, “learn Spanish” has been on my list of goals.
It’s part of my April adventure to study Spanish for at least 10 minutes every day.
And with language apps on my smartphone and tablet, it’s easy to study a few minutes a day, no matter where I am.
Why do I want to learn Spanish?
- First is to be able to work globally. Spanish is the second-most-spoken language in the world.
- Second is to connect with people more easily here in Southern California where Spanish is spoken by so many.
- And third is to build my brain with new mental connections.
Yet this hasn’t been a dream with a deadline. Until now.
My daughter is thinking about studying abroad in a year or so. At the top of her list are Spain and Argentina.
That creates a more compelling call to action for me to learn to speak Spanish. I want to be able to visit her and speak the language.
Now there’s a stronger “why.” This is what motivates people to take action. Simon Sinek says this powerfully in a TED talk related to his book, Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action.
By “why,” Sinek means, “What’s your purpose? What’s your cause? Why do you get out of bed in the morning?”
Now I have a very specific purpose for learning Spanish. And better yet, it has a deadline.
Why are you pursuing your most important goals?
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