What’s one thing you should never do after someone accepts a LinkedIn connection request?
Don’t ask for anything.
Don’t ask for a job. Don’t ask to meet for coffee. Don’t ask to set up a phone call. Don’t ask about the person’s goals.
Just. Don’t. Ask.
These words of advice turned out to be the most viewed topic so far in my weekly social media minute videos. In them I share tips from my book, What Successful People Do in Social Media.
What To Do Instead
What’s better to do instead?
Anything that will help solidify the relationship.
Share a warm greeting. Congratulate someone on a recent accomplishment. Offer up something that may be of interest that doesn’t take too much of the recipient’s time. Maybe you saw an article or a video they might find helpful. If you want to pass it along with no obligation to read or watch it, that’s great. Simply focus on building the relationship.
Think about how you react when people immediately start pitching business to you — what I call spamming — right after you’ve connected on LinkedIn or other social media platform. More and more, it happens before the connection itself. Now I simply decline those requests. It’s clear as soon as I accept I’ll be bombarded with offers for services I don’t need right now or requests for meetings I can’t do right now, if ever.
When I first left the corporate world to start my own business, it was financial planners who contacted me. Now it’s people pitching lead generation services. Recently someone claimed they can guarantee story placements in major media outlets. As someone with an accreditation in public relations, I can say it’s never possible to guarantee a media placement. Maybe they were really pitching paid advertising.
Learning from what not to do, there’s a better strategy.
What is it?
Let Your Goals Guide You
Consider your professional goals for the coming season, quarter, or year. Do you want to get a new job? Position yourself for a promotion? Find great new talent for your team? Get asked to be on a non-profit board? Be invited to speak?
Write down your goals, and then identify who can help them become reality.
- If you want a new job, create a list of job types of interest, both at your current employer and other companies
- If you want to be promoted, consider who, in addition to your boss, will have a say in the decision
- If you want to find new talent, think about the skill sets you’d like to find to round out your team
- If you want to be invited to be on a non-profit board, identify specific causes and organizations of interest
- If you want to be invited to speak, think about where you’d like to speak and who might hire you to do so.
Next, look to the people associated with the group and organizations you identified. Who do you already know? Who would you like to get to know? You can use the search feature in LinkedIn to further refine a list of people of interest.
Raise Your Profile with Key People
After that, create a plan to raise your profile with the people you identified. Start by sending a personalized LinkedIn request. Say why you want to connect and what interests you about them. Follow them on Instagram, Twitter or YouTube … wherever they spend most of their social time.
Then keep an eye out for content they share. Scroll through your feeds once or twice a week. Read or watch what they post. Start to engage with their content in a meaningful way. Comment on something that stood out to you. Share how your thinking has changed or what you might do differently as a result. Offer up additional data points or perspectives. Do it in a helpful way, and not to try to show you’re smarter or more informed.
The secret is to find the right balance, not engaging so frequently that you become annoying, or so infrequently that you don’t make any lasting impression.
The best outcome is to start building a mutually satisfying relationship. It’s ideal to build one where the other person enjoys and even looks forward to your comments. And one where the other person is positively motivated to engage in a conversation with you.
Find the Strategic Serendipity
Another way of thinking of this is called strategic serendipity. By engaging with and helping people in your network with a positive approach, you never know what good things might come your way.
In my case it’s been social media consulting clients, business and leadership coaching clients, speaking engagements, and teaching opportunities. Exactly zero of them resulted from my searching through social media, cold pitching services to people I don’t know. Instead, they came as the outcome of being helpful, in a targeted way, consistent with my top goals.
To make it easy to fit this into your busy life, you can create a note in your smartphone of people you want to make a point of engaging with. Set aside a few brief times each week to scroll through your social media feeds and interact with their recent content. Be as helpful as you can. Make it easy and enjoyable to engage with you. And let the strategic serendipity flow.
How have you built relationships in positive ways?
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