by Caroline Leach | Apr 15, 2016 | Change, Work/Life
Do you feel deluged with data every day? Overwhelmed with emails, texts, posts and pings? How do you sift through it? How do you make sense of it all?
Often I’ll start reading through a new piece of research, trying to take it all in, absorb it and synthesize it. But in the end it seems that nothing truly stands out.
The alternate approach works better. What is it? It’s being on the lookout for the one key takeaway from whatever it is I’m reading. Or doing. Or observing.
What’s the headline? What’s the tweet? What’s the snap? What’s the one thing I’d share with someone else?
Daniel Pink made this easy in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. It has a Twitter summary – “Carrots & sticks are so last century. Drive says for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery & purpose.”
One of my great bosses, Leigh Anne Nanci, had the perfect mantra for going to professional conferences. Instead of trying to remember and act on everything, she advised identifying the one change you’d make as a result of attending.
And in the now-classic film City Slickers, there’s the moment when Jack Palance tells Billy Crystal that the secret to life is “just one thing.” And we each have to figure it out ourselves.
What’s your one thing?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 14, 2016 | Learning, Work/Life
This post is based on my inspiration at the April meeting of the Palos Verdes Chapter of National Charity League.
As parents, we spend a lot of time saying no. Right? Especially to our kids.
- No, you can’t stay up all night.
- No, you can’t miss school today because you didn’t finish your homework.
- No, you can’t have friends over while I’m not home.
And we often say no to ourselves.
- No, I can’t take time for myself.
- No, I’d never be good at painting, dancing or other fill-in-the-blank activity
- No, I can’t pursue my dreams while my kids are growing up.
But what if we paused and asked ourselves if there was a way we could say yes?
In my daughter’s freshman year in high school, she texted me the day before Halloween.
“Mom,” it read, “can I dye my hair for Halloween?”
Whaaaat? Visions of neon colors flashed across my eyes. And not in a good way.
I took a deep breath. And another. Then I responded. “What color?” I asked. The reply? “Brown. And it’s semi-permanent, so it’ll rinse out.”
What a relief. This was something I could say “yes” to. In these high school years, I’ve looked for times I can say yes. Then when I have to say no, my daughter won’t be able to say, “but you always say no.” Or, “you never say yes.”
In fact, “You never say yes to anything” was the catalyst for BIG changes in the life of Shonda Rhimes. She’s the creator, writer and producer of hit TV shows including Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal.
One Thanksgiving, as Shonda mentioned yet another invitation she’d declined, her sister muttered, “you never say yes to anything.”
Thus began Shonda’s “year of yes.” She decided for a whole year, she would say yes to anything that scared her.
Some of her invitations aren’t things that would happen to us – or at least not to me. Being the commencement speaker at Dartmouth. Going on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Joining Oprah for Super Soul Sunday. Losing 127 pounds!
But others very much speak to our lives. She decided whenever one of her 3 daughters asked her to play, she’d stop whatever she was doing and she would play.
She says after 15 minutes, your kids have had enough playtime, so you can go back to what you were doing. When she had this epiphany, she was in a ball gown about to head to a TV awards show. But she sat down, and she played.
Her TED talk explores the life-changing experience of play in her “year of yes.”
Here’s what she wrote about happiness.
“We believe happiness lies in following the same list of rules. In being more like everyone else. That? Is wrong. There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules.
Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than.
When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it.
No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.”
In closing, what will you say yes to today?
by Caroline Leach | Apr 10, 2016 | Change, Learning, Work/Life
Driving across the Golden Gate Bridge this week got me thinking about how small steps add up to big things over time.
Was it really true that the bridge has to be painted 365 days a year? Turns out the answer is no. It’s an urban legend.
Of course, touch ups are required. Just as they are in our own lives.
And spending a few minutes each day on important goals can make it easier to achieve them. That’s what I’m attempting with my Spanish studies. If I can’t consistently devote a half hour every day, how about 10 minutes?
Technology makes this even easier than when I made my first attempt to learn Spanish a few years ago. Now I have a Rosetta Stone app on my phone and my tablet. It’s available anytime and anywhere. The only start-up time required is plugging in my earbuds and tapping on the app. Easy and effortless.
My daughter was amused last night at the airport when I squeezed in my 10 minutes of Spanish. But if I keep this up for a year, it will equal 60 hours of study. That’s better than zero. And perhaps as the days and months go by I’ll find that I can double and triple the time.
After all, it’s easier to ramp up the momentum on something already underway.
The photo above was taken in spring 2014 when my sister, Katie, and I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge and back from Marin County. Small steps added up to a beautiful and invigorating 3-mile walk that morning.
Recent Comments