What Does Kindness Have to Do with Learning?

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Does what we say to ourselves influence how much, how fast and how well we can learn new things?

Absolutely, says Erika Andersen, the author of the forthcoming book Be Bad First.

She outlines 4 key mental tools in her Harvard Business Review article, Learning to Learn. They are aspiration, self-awareness, curiosity and vulnerability.

Aspiration. Andersen says “great learners can raise their aspiration level.” How? By focusing on the benefits of what you’ll learn, rather than on the challenges in the learning process. A good question to ask is “What would my future look like if I learned this?”

Self-awareness. This is about seeking feedback and taking action on it. Good questions to ask yourself about feedback are “Is this accurate?” “What facts do I have to support it?” and “How do I compare with my peers?”

Curiosity. Andersen writes that “curiosity is what makes us try something until we can do it it, or think about something until we understand it.”

If you’re not interested in a new subject, Anderson advocates changing your self-talk to ask why others find the subject so interesting.

As a person interested in words, ideas and influence, my curiosity is helping me find where those interests intersect with analytics and big data.

In starting to read Tom Davenport‘s Big Data @ Work, I became more curious about how organizations of the future will better focus on the collaboration and communications activities of their people.

This led me to a footnote that took me to another book called Social Physics. This is defined as “analyzing patterns of human experience and idea exchange within the digital bread crumbs we all leave behind us as we move through the world.”

Now I’m truly fascinated and thinking about the connections with another book I read last year, The Reputation Economy. This is about how individuals can shape their digital footprint at a time when your reputation can dictate the kind of life you’ll live and what opportunities may be available to you.

Vulnerability. This is about the scary prospect of “being bad at something for weeks or months; feeling awkward and slow; having to ask ‘dumb’ questions; and needing step-by-step guidance again and again.”

The cure? Changing what you say to yourself. Andersen suggests that instead of saying “I’m terrible at this,” replace it with, “I’m making beginner mistakes, but I’ll get better.”

As I’m pursuing my own learning project and getting up to speed in a new role, I reminded myself of trying out for a sports team in high school.

When I showed up for the first practice before tryouts, I almost didn’t come back the next day. I felt uncoordinated, self-conscious and silly. But I made myself come back the next day. And the next.

And happily, I made the team. But what if I’d given up that first day? What if I’d allowed myself to believe that I was terrible and had no hope of getting better?

There are very few things we can’t learn if we tell ourselves we can. And if we encourage ourselves with positive thoughts. And remind ourselves that others don’t notice our mistakes as much as we might think.

I have to tell myself that frequently as I walk into yet another figurative wall by mistake. Oops. That hurt. Did anyone notice my mistake?

But the important thing is the dust yourself off. To keep moving forward. And to avoid making the same mistake twice.

What’s a good way to do that? By being kind to yourself. Encourage yourself. Have faith that with grit and perseverance, you can do what you set out to do.

One day this month I came home and a friend from a community group had left a thank-you card and a book on my doorstep. The book is “The Power of Kindness.” It’s about “the unexpected benefits of leading a compassionate life.”

And while the main focus of the book is on being kind to others, there is power in being just as kind to ourselves.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t set aspirational goals and have high standards for ourselves. But it does mean encouraging ourselves and asking how we could do better next time.

In addition to my learning journey in data and analytics, I’ve written in this blog about learning stand-up paddle boarding and learning yoga. My goal this summer is to combine the two.

Today I went paddle boarding and tomorrow I’ll take a yoga class. The benefit to both is a kind of zen that helps me be kinder to myself and to others.

It pulls me out of the moment-to-moment frenzy of everyday life and puts me in a meditative state. A reflective state. A refreshed state.

All the better to keep learning.

Can Dream Headlines Focus Your Research?

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Headlines are critical in corporate communications.

If someone reads nothing else but the headline, will they get the key message? And will the headline compel them to read the story?

A tweet can serve the same function. Can you get your key message across in under 140 characters? Will it engage your followers to click on the related link?

It turns out, there’s another powerful use for headlines and tweets. Alexandra Samuel outlines this in her HBR post How Content Marketers Can Tell Better Stories with Data.

“Start with your dream headline,” Samuel advises. She likes to start by “imagining my dream headlines or tweets: the discoveries that I would love my data to yield.”

Samuel gives the example of looking at child-related security risks. “I hoped to discover the security practices that led to the biggest reduction in online misdeeds,” she wrote, “something like ‘good passwords cut hacks perpetrated by kids by 50%’.”

This informs how she tackles the research. What’s less important is whether the discovery she wants to find is actually supported by the research. Because the method provides focus to the research.

This gives a better ability to discover “data that would yield the best-case outcome.” The headline and the story then evolve based on the most interesting and relevant insights from the data.

My first introduction to Alexandra Samuel was through her series of e-books, which ultimately become Work Smarter with Social Media. These helped me to work better with LinkedIn, Twitter and more.

That’s why I was drawn to Samuel’s articles during my Sunday morning reading of HBR posts on marketing, market research and data. It’s all part of my ongoing, online learning project.

And it speaks to the 5-plus hours of learning that everyone at my employer is encouraged to do to mobilize the future.

We’re all lifelong learners. It’s a gift to be part of a company that creates a learning culture to do just that.

What are you learning today?

Are Great Leaders Persuadable?

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Are the hallmarks of great leaders confidence, certainty and decisiveness?

Or as our world grows ever more volatile and complex, are the best leaders open to influence? Are they persuadable?

That’s the premise of a great new book by Al Pittampalli called Persuadable: How Great Leaders Change Their Minds to Change the World.

How did I find it? By reading one of my favorite marketing blogs. Seth Godin had a great plug for it last week in his post “When I want your opinion…”. And if Seth is recommending a book, it’s going to be good.

With only slight sheepishness at being a marketer’s dream by buying the Kindle edition of the book after reading the post, I dove into it this week.

What did I learn? In a nutshell, I’m going to be much more comfortable evaluating new data and information as it comes to light. And I’ll be more willing to change my mind as a result.

Some of it harkens back to the classic principles in Robert Cialdini‘s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. The reciprocity principle in particular has stood the test of time as a key driver of social media.

John Maxwell‘s writings about Becoming a Person of Influence also made an impression. Maxwell says you have to be open to the influence of others, in order to have an influence on them. I’m still tickled that he was one of the first people who “followed” me back on Twitter.

Why is persuadability to important? “In a world that is unpredictable, ultra competitive and fast changing,” Pittampalli writes, “being persuadable is the ultimate competitive advantage.”

This gives key advantages, he explains — accuracy, agility and growth:

  • A better understanding of the world fuels more accurate decisions.
  • Quickly seeing and responding to changing conditions enables necessary pivots.
  • And honestly evaluating your performance and getting feedback creates growth.

How do you become persuadable? Pittampalli outlines 7 practices of persuadable leaders. Here are 3 that most resonated with me.

First is “considering the opposite.” It seems straightforward, yet we have to overcome our own cognitive biases to actively seek out information that conflicts with our current thinking.

A simple way to counter it is by asking yourself questions, starting with “what’s the opposite here and have I thought about it?”

Second is “update your beliefs incrementally.” What works in leading change in general also applies to being more persuadable.

As more evidence becomes available, we can update our beliefs along the way. That way, beliefs evolve naturally over time. It’s easier for your own brain as well as for others to embrace smaller changes in thinking.

Third is “avoiding becoming too persuadable.” Just because you choose to become more persuadable as a leader, there are still plenty of times when it’s appropriate to make decisions that may be unpopular and take action.

Like many things in life and leadership, there are tradeoffs to be made. It’s valuable to get input up to a point, but then there are diminishing returns over time of each additional piece of feedback.

Perhaps you’re embracing on a course of action and finding it difficult to decide whether or not to proceed. A good question Pittampalli puts forth is asking yourself, “Is it worth it?”

My experience in business reinforces for me that it’s more important than ever to be open to new evidence. The world is constantly changing, and information used previously to make decisions is likely to have changed.

By extension, it’s important to become ever more comfortable with changing you mind. Along with that, it’s critical to clearly articulate the reasons behind the changes in your thought process.

As Simon Sinek so compellingly outlined in his TED talk How great leaders inspire action, understanding “why” is the first thing people need to know in order to change the world.