Getting Names Right

FullSizeRender-1

There was a Michael on my team whom people often called Mike. There was a Tina who preferred that to her full name of Christina. And now there’s a Stephen whom people have called everything from Steven to Stephan.

As a colleague, I feel a responsibility to help others get these names right. That includes the pronunciation and the preferred form. Michael doesn’t go by Mike. Tina doesn’t want to be called Christina. And I assume Stephen would like to hear his name pronounced the right way.

Why is this so important?

Keith Rollag shares some interesting reasons in his book, What To Do When You’re New.

He cites Dale Carnegie, who once said, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

And psychologist Gordon W. Allport wrote that, “The most important anchorage to our self-identity through life remains our name. One’s name, though only a symbol, is closely tied to one’s self-esteem as it is to one’s sense of self-identity.”

Rollag goes on to write that, “People are flattered when you remember their names, which creates something persuasion researchers call a ‘complimentary perception.'”

And he says that scientists have found that “we subconsciously prefer words containing the letters of our own name and even selectively pursue careers that sound like our own name (e.g., a disproportionate number of people named Dennis become dentists).”

Who knew? Perhaps this partly explains why, as a Caroline, I became a communicator.

Here are 3 ways to make sure you get names right:

Ask. When you meet someone new, ask for any clarification you need on their name. Did you pronounce it correctly? Do they go by a nickname? This repetition of their name will also help you remember it, according to Rollag’s chapter on remembering names.

Check. When sending an email or communicating via social media, check the correct spelling of someone’s name against their email address, social handle or signature line. And if you make a mistake, as I’ve done in transposing a first and last name, be quick to apologize and correct the error.

Model. If you’re in a meeting or on a call where someone is mispronouncing another person’s name, use that person’s name correctly during the course of the meeting. If that doesn’t work, you can let the person know one on one after the meeting wraps up.

How do you get names right?

What’s Your Birthday Ritual?

FullSizeRender

How do you celebrate your birthday?

As I contemplated mine today, I wondered what others do. Yes, there’s the fun of celebration, cake and congratulations. Yet what else makes the day extra special? What sets the stage for your next year ahead?

I’m not sure if this relentless focus on goals has to do with being a Taurus or an ENTJ. Or maybe the two are related.

But regardless, here goes . . .

Looking back. Just as I do as New Year’s Eve approaches, I reflect on the last year. I handwrite a list of highlights. How do I remember it all? My calendar and Evernote are helpful in jogging my memory.

This has a few benefits. First, I get to enjoy reliving the best moments of the year. And second, it makes me realize I accomplished a lot more than I might have thought.

Giving thanks. It’s easy to forget the blessings in our lives. A daily list of 3 things I’m grateful for in the last 24 hours has helped bring those blessings to the fore.

Happiness researcher Shawn Achor recently suggested a great twist on this. While you brush your teeth at night, think of 3 things you’re happy about.

And on a birthday, it’s the perfect time to take stock more broadly of what you’re grateful for. Family. Health. Career. Optimism. Perseverance. Possibilities. A favorite pet. Cupcakes. Anything that makes you happy.

Looking ahead. The logical next step is to look to the future. What’s exciting about the year ahead? What was learned in the previous year that can help shape the one ahead?

What are the bright spots that you can build on? This is a great concept from Chip Heath and Dan Heath in their bestseller Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard.

This is where you look for small things that are going well, you learn from them and apply them more broadly.

Enjoying the moment. What would make your day special? What would you most enjoy doing? While I love my career and my work, I take a vacation day on my birthday when I can. And I try to resist my usual tendency to over schedule.

What did that mean for today? Looking back and looking ahead. Enjoying a workout by the beach. Stopping by a beautiful local library. Spending time with family. Talking with my mom. Responding to heartwarming birthday wishes. Writing my daily blog post. A nice dinner with my husband.

Remembering my commitment not to over schedule, we’ll go standup paddle boarding and on an excursion over the weekend. I’m savoring the unusual feeling of not being rushed. The to-do lists and chores will still be there tomorrow.

Reading about what others do on their birthdays gave me a few new ideas.

Danielle LaPorte has 10 great ones. My favorite? “Make some outlandish wishes based on how you want to FEEL in the coming year. Desired. Free. Top of your game . . .”

Kevin F. Adler offers up 9. My favorites? “Have a party the evening before your actual birthday.” “Go on an adventure.” And “do something special that you’ve been wanting to do, but haven’t.”

This got me thinking about bringing something special into every day. Why wait for your birthday? What you can to do to enjoy every day?

What Did You Learn Today?

FullSizeRender-2

What do you write when you don’t know what to write?

This is similar to the concept of what to do when you don’t know what to do.

On my list of daily dozen activities in my April adventure are posting to this blog and writing down 3 things I’m grateful for in the last 24 hours.

Today I wasn’t sure what to blog about. It was a full day of meetings on highly disparate topics that involved many different people. I started to synthesize it all.

Then a thought occurred to me. What if I changed “what am I grateful for?” to “what did I learn today?”

Here goes.

An editorial calendar is a must to sustain daily blogging. It’s easier to post daily when I know in advance what I’m going to write about. When planning for a particularly busy day, I outline and start drafting a post the night before. But I’ve learned this month that an editorial calendar is even more important.

Collaborative work spaces help build relationships and momentum. Visiting a company location with an open-environment workspace this week reminded me of the value of face-to-face interactions. I moved around the floor between meetings and sat in high-traffic areas. At least 3 chance conversations helped accelerate some of the projects I’m working on.

People will share the most fascinating things if you ask questions and listen. Today was a lot about asking questions and hearing what a variety of people had to say. Now I’m synthesizing all of that input, identifying areas where more information would be valuable and doing follow-up actions.

No one has all the answers. Often in life, there’s no single right answer. There are a range of options, all with upsides and downsides. Talking with a lot of people helps generate additional options. It also reinforces that we’re all figuring things out as we go along. But working together, we’re stronger.

Be humble. This is one of the most important learnings through my career pivot. Often I’m researching concepts that are new to me or asking others a lot of questions. It’s part of being bad first that Erika Andersen articulated in her book of the same name. And it sure is humbling. Yet I’m also humbled by how generous and patient people are with sharing their expertise and perspectives.

What did you learn today?