What can you do, with what you have, where you are?

Even when we leave companies, or companies leave us, the relationships with our colleagues remain.

The highs, the lows, and the in betweens of our work fade away. What sticks around? Special connections, if we choose to spend time with people who are important to us.

It was fun to gather recently with DIRECTV alums, and hear what’s new with everyone.

It was the ride of a lifetime to work together, and it’s even better to stay in touch.

A group of us gathered for dinner last week (pictured above), and another group gathered for drinks last month during the holidays (pictured below).

Last fall, I became intrigued by what makes us happy and contributes to our well-being. It has been a challenging few years, for a variety of reasons, including the pandemic. This is true for me, and I suspect is true for all of us.

My husband Kevin and I each launched our own businesses in 2018. My consulting/coaching/speaking business The Carrelle Company LLC and his restaurant Pacific Standard Prime steakhouse were both established that fall.

In a stroke of randomly poor timing, the restaurant opened in August 2020, a few months into the pandemic. To say it’s been a rocky road is a major understatement.

A quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th U.S. President, gives me great comfort and guidance (and which Roosevelt credits to Squire Bill Widener): “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

This has been my daily mantra, to focus on each day only. Instead of wishing the road was easier, I ask myself what I can do, with what I have, where I am.

It turns out, a lot.

Here we are in 2023. The road isn’t necessarily easier.

Yet the restaurant is still open, and people on Yelp give the team a lot of love. Major credit to Kevin for following his dream and keeping at it every day, along with an amazing team of employees and wonderful guests who come back time after time.

And my business continues to grow, more quickly each year. This is thanks in part to friends and colleagues who have provided encouragement and made referrals.

Back to my question about what makes us happy. It started with a Hello, Monday podcast episode from LinkedIn with Dr. Laurie Santos on the topic of increasing happiness. I wanted to know the secret.

Can you guess?

Turns out it’s social connections.

The Harvard Study of Human Development underscores this finding. Launched in 1938, it’s followed the lives of more than 700 initial participants, and later, their families.

What has it found so far? More than following a healthy diet, exercising regularly, or getting enough sleep, it turns out that cultivating relationships has the biggest impact on our happiness and well being.

So I reflected on what I could do, with what I have, where I am.

And I thought, my family owns a restaurant. Why don’t I invite different groups of people to dinner? It started with some high school friends in November (pictured below). And continued with former work colleagues this month. Who knows where this will go, but it’s sure a lot of fun!

One of the people invited to the dinner was Pat Doyle, the former CFO of DIRECTV. Even though I didn’t work in Finance (I led Corporate Communications as part of the amazing HR team led by Joe Bosch), both Pat and Joe opened a door for me to work on a major M&A integration team led by my colleague and now friend Jennifer Cho.

Heartbreakingly, the day I confirmed the dinner plans with the group, I learned about Pat’s untimely passing the day before. Pat was a gentle, smart, and kind leader, with incredible integrity. He was a father and a grandfather, and way too young to leave us. Pat will be missed by so many people for whom he was a role model and a shining light. What a legacy he leaves for his own family, for the DIRECTV family, and for the larger community.

This brought into sharp relief a mantra from another colleague, Linda Simon. She ends every email with “enjoy every day!” This could not be more sage advice. Today is all we have. Let’s enjoy it, and let’s enjoy our relationships with the special people in our lives.

So if you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, an unexpected layoff, a business setback, concern about the future, or anything else, here are two questions to ask yourself.

What can you do, with what you have, where you are?

And who can you reach out to and connect with today?

 

How Will You Spend Your Golden Week?

A golden sunrise over the mountains

 

Ah, the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. It feels like the world (almost) stops, for one golden week. Texts, emails, and calls drop off in frequency. Calendars have open space. Demands lighten up.

Indeed, it would be tempting to float through these blissful days without a care in the world.

But wait. What if there’s a better way?

What if there’s a path that combines rest, reflection, and renewal? How could you create a deeply satisfying week? One that would end your year on a high note and help you start strong in the new year?

Our values – what’s important to us – can light the way. What’s most important to you? Let that guide your plan for this week. So that when you wake up on New Year’s Day, you feel deep satisfaction in how you chose to use this time.

Anything you’re eager to be and do in the new year, you can start today. Take a small step. And then another. And so on.

Therefore, here’s what’s on my plan for this golden week:

* family and friends: savoring time with loved ones

* writing: creating content for LinkedIn and a new book idea

* business: reflecting on this year and planning for the next

It’s worth noting that there are a few other items on my plan. However, in the interest of prioritizing and not creating a laundry list that will be more exhausting than refreshing, I limited the list to three.

What’s on your plan for this week?

How will you spend this quieter, golden time that comes once a year?

 

How Will You End the Year Strong?

2022 becoming 2023

Five weeks remain in 2022. That’s 34 days. It’s a good chunk of time. Yet many people decide to “wait until after the holidays” to start on their big goals and projects.

Here’s a question for you. How would ending the year strong set you up for a better year ahead?

“Ending strong” means taking steps every day, now, toward your goals and dreams. They can be small steps. One action each day.

Over five weeks, they add up toward meaningful progress. And having a sense of progress is what inspires and motivates us.

Heading into 2023, what daily actions will be the most meaningful to you?

What are you waiting for?

 

What Change Do You Need to Make?

Is there a change you know you need to make?

Something you’ve been putting off, because it just doesn’t feel that urgent?

How much better would your life be if you simply made that change right now? Today. Right now. In this moment.

It’s okay to let something go if it no longer interests you.

Because you gain something in the process.

You get time and space to go after what you really want.

What change will you make today?

 

 

What Are You Learning This Fall?

 

Autumn is like a new year all its own. A relatively new school year is underway. That brings a fresh start.

Learning is an integral part of the season. And you don’t have to be an official student pursuing a degree to have a learning plan of your own. There are so many engaging and inexpensive ways to learn. Your local library, a local university extension program, or online classes are just a few options.

This week I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel, on LinkedIn. The guest was Laurie Santos. She’s a host of her own podcast, The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos, and the professor for the most popular class at Yale: The Science of Well-Being.

You can take this class for free on Coursera, along with 4 million other people (including me) who are enrolled. Given all the mental health challenges that come with almost 3 years of a global pandemic, along with climate change, economic worries, and more, this course is a much-needed breath of fresh air.

What are you learning this fall?