by Caroline Leach | Nov 20, 2015 | Change, Work/Life
This post is based on my inspiration at the November meeting of the Palos Verdes Chapter of National Charity League.
Here are a few things to give thanks for – Fall weather. Football. Fireplaces. Finally!
Our president Francine Mathiesen is a great model of this year’s theme of “Being The Good.” And Thanksgiving is great for doing good.
NCL is full of opportunities – turkey dinners for Boys & Girls Club, meals at LA Food Bank, time with children at Peace4Kids, and more.
And by doing good, you’ll feel good. People who are givers are happier. You already know this, but it’s worth a reminder.
Why? Because of the “happiness curve.” People start life out happy, but then a funny thing happens.
Happiness hits rock bottom in the 40s and early 50s. The global average is 46. So be happy if you’re past that age, because you’re already on the upswing.
One theory is teenagers are a drag on happiness. The Economist asked, “Could the misery of the middle-aged be the consequence of sharing space with angry adolescents?”
In our house, we turned the “angry adolescent” phrase into a joke when one of our teens is in a bad mood. It lightens up heavy moments.
That brings me to a great book. Who’s read Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project?
She took a year to experiment with becoming happier. Each month she had a new focus – boosting energy, remembering love, making time for friends, and so on.
She’s a wife, a mother of two daughters, and a lawyer. When she clerked with Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, she realized she wanted to be a writer.
You might enjoy doing your own happiness project in 2016.
She starts by sharing her “Secrets of Adulthood.” Here are my favorites:
- People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think
- Most decisions don’t require extensive research
- It’s important to be nice to everyone
- By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished
- If you can’t find something, clean up
- You don’t have to be good at everything
- If you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough
- People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry
- You can’t profoundly change your children’s natures by nagging them or signing them up for classes
- Do good, feel good – because one of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
So how did I try doing good? As a start, my family had fun putting together Thanksgiving dinners for the local Boys & Girls Club.
What else brought joy was helping a friend.
She’s self-employed as a manicurist and comes to Los Angeles once a week to work. The hotel where she stays raised its rates, so she asked for my advice about increasing her own.
Instead, I suggested we check out Airbnb. There have to be lots of people in the area with an affordable extra room or guesthouse.
We downloaded the app together, did a search and found some great-looking options.
The smile on her face made my day.
That’s the kind of happiness project Gretchen Rubin advocates.
While she was inspired by other happiness projects – Henry David Thoreau’s move to Walden Pond and Elizabeth Gilbert’s travels in Eat, Pray, Love – she didn’t want to reject her everyday life.
Here’s what she said: “I wanted to change my life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen. I knew I wouldn’t discover happiness in a faraway place or in unusual circumstances.
“It was right here, right now – as in the haunting play The Blue Bird, where two children spend a year searching the world for the Blue Bird of Happiness, only to find the bird waiting for them when they finally return home.”
by Caroline Leach | Nov 7, 2015 | Careers, Change, Leadership, Learning, Marketing & Analytics
“You have to let go of something to make room for something new.”
Author Cynthia Oredugba (pictured, right) shared this and more at a Women of AT&T Southern California fundraiser for scholarships.
Led by chapter president Georgia Zachary (pictured, left), the event was held this weekend at Marmi at The Point in El Segundo, Calif.
How did I find myself there?
For the last year I’ve led the DIRECTV Women’s Leadership Exchange – an employee resource group for professional development, networking, mentoring and community service.
DIRECTV was acquired by AT&T this summer, creating the world’s largest pay TV provider and a video distribution leader across TV, mobile and broadband.
Among other things, our employee resource groups are coming together. This is how I found myself listening to Cynthia Oredugba talk about change.
“You can’t get better by staying the same,” was another truth she shared that struck a chord.
It reminded me of the DIRECTV Leadership Development Program I attended two years ago.
At the end of a life-changing week, I realized I’d only thought I had a big dream for myself in becoming VP of Corporate Communications.
Coming out of the program, I was energized by the idea of pivoting and stretching into a new area – whether that was investor relations, operations, marketing or something else entirely.
But it wasn’t until the transformative coming together of AT&T and DIRECTV that an opportunity would arise.
Three weeks ago, I moved into a marketing role. It centers on the customer experience, consumer research and the vision for the future of the marketing organization.
This speaks to the opportunities that come from change. And from being part of a newly combined company. And among leaders with a commitment to talent mobility as a way for people to grow and contribute.
It also allows me to explore for the first time my full spectrum of the high-scoring artistic, social end enterprising parts of the Strong Interest Inventory. This career assessment tool links personal interests with a variety of career fields.
I’ve long seen Human Resources, Corporate Communications and Marketing along a related spectrum of careers that blend the qualitative and the quantitative, design and data, and people and products.
Having spent many years in Corporate Communications and HR leadership roles, I’m thrilled to have an opportunity in Marketing.
And now the hard work begins. Applying previous knowledge to new situations. Addressing new business challenges. Adapting to new norms.
It’s a good thing I love learning. Because there’s going to be a lot of it in the near future. And we all need to be constant learners, whether or not we’re changing jobs, functions or companies.
Thankfully I work with a lot of great people who are more than willing to answer questions and share insights.
As I dive into the new role, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the many parallels between what I used to do and what I do now.
And that’s been the best learning of all. You don’t have to let go of something you’ve loved as you move into something new.
You just have to let it evolve into a new state. It’s about combining what you’ve done with a commitment to lifelong learning to inform what you do today – and tomorrow.
by Caroline Leach | Oct 30, 2015 | Change, Learning, Work/Life
Being here now.
Easier said than done.
There are always plans to make. Projects to start. People to see. Posts to do.
Except for one thing. If you’re constantly living in the future, it’s all too easy to miss the beauty of today.
Goals can be so compelling. So encompassing. So engaging. So much so that it’s all too easy to get lured into some future state that doesn’t yet exist.
Don’t get me wrong. Visualizing the future is a powerful way to make it happen.
But too much visualization and too little living in the moment can lead to wishing your life away.
It always makes me a bit sad the way people react to Mondays. As if it’s a day to simply be endured. On the way to more enjoyable days of the week.
But you can have as much fun on a Monday . . . as on a Wednesday . . . as on a Saturday. It’s all about your mindset. And embracing every day as potentially the best one of your life.
Sometimes I get so focused on a goal that I neglect to savor the moment. To enjoy the process as it’s unfolding. To make the journey sweeter than the destination.
That’s when my husband reminds me of the sage philosopher, Dr. Seuss. He wisely said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
The key is to enjoy each moment as it unfolds. How do you do that? By being here now.
by Caroline Leach | Oct 25, 2015 | Careers, Change, Learning, Social Media
The world’s information doubles every 12 months. Americans change careers 7 times over a lifetime. And your toddler or teen still doesn’t come with instructions.
With ever-present change, how can you learn what you need to know in a new situation?
1. Set goals. Decide what you need to learn. Determine what problem you are solving for.
2. Make a plan. Think about how you could best go about learning what you need to know. Identify a few learning sources and draft a brief plan.
3. Talk to people. Ask questions. How did they learn what they know? Would they be willing to sit down with you and walk you through a new task or explain a process?
4. Read. Check out blog posts, articles and books.
On my Kindle reader is What To Do When You’re New. We’re “new” more of then than we think we are. It could be a new job or a new class we’re taking.
If you’re starting a new job, The First 90 Days gives an invaluable road map. It’s worthwhile to do the exercises and answer the question prompts.
5. Stretch. See if there’s a new project you could take on at work that will give you an opportunity to accelerate your learning objectives.
6. Take a class. Go back to school, with MOOCs, your company, local adult education, community college or university extension.
7. Watch a video. Check out TED talks and YouTube videos. Download the apps so you can watch a short video whenever you have a few extra minutes.
8. Make connections. Think about how what you already know relates to what you’re learning. See if there are enough similarities to accelerate your learning.
9. Learn by doing. Put your learning into practice. Adopt the Cal Poly San Luis Obsipo mantra of “learning by doing.”
That’s why I’m on Instagram. I wanted to experiment with communicating through images rather than words.
10. Make your own internship. Take inspiration from Robert De Niro’s character in The Intern. Figure out what needs to be done and go do it.
At my new company, there’s even an app for that. Leaders with projects needing extra help load them into the app. Team members pick a project, learning new skills and getting to know colleagues in the process.
11. Ask for feedback. Ask people what they see that’s going well with your learning plan and where you could do better. Make course corrections based on what they say.
12. Be fearless. A few years ago we introduced social collaboration into our workplace. It represented a new way to work, and it wasn’t one I was familiar – or comfortable – with.
However, I pushed through uncomfortable feelings. I asked questions, even if I thought they might be viewed as stupid. And I was willing to make mistakes.
That’s why I started my first blog, internally, a few years before this one. I needed to “learn by doing” so I could help other leaders do the same.
And a few years later, nearly 90% of employees had adopted a new way to work with social business. That was worth all the awkwardness and the errors along the way.
How are you becoming a lifelong learner?
by Caroline Leach | Sep 20, 2015 | Change, Leadership, Learning, Work/Life
When the world seems full of rejection, look for bright spots. And make the most of the them.
I choose to see rejections simply as milestones along my journey. They aren’t major rejections. A community involvement role here. A professional association board membership there. And some others along the way.
One bright spot is I got the volunteer job I wanted this year in National Charity League. I’m the inspiration chair for the Palos Verdes chapter. I give a short talk each month to inspire my fellow members.
We’re parents serving communities along with our daughters in middle and high school. We’re part of a national organization fostering mother-daughter relationships in a philanthropic organization committed to community service and giving 1 million hands-on volunteer hours annually.
And we’re busy – juggling children, careers and community.
So my inspiration this month began with a collective exhale. We were gathered on a scenic September evening at the seaside cliffs of the Point Vicente Interpretive Center.
And here’s what I said.
By a show of hands, how many of you –
- Have more texts, emails, pings and dings than you can answer?
- Have more calendar commitments than you can ever do?
- Feel like everyone but you leads a charmed life on Facebook and Instagram?
Well, welcome to a new school year!
One mom with two school-aged kids is also the junior senator from New York. Her name is Kirsten Gillibrand. In her book, Off the Sidelines, she says if you ask a mother how it’s going, the universal answer is “Um, barely holding it together.”
So you’re in good company with parents everywhere.
But my job is not to depress you. It’s to inspire you.
Since we often meet at the Palos Verdes Library, my theme this year is good books. And it’s a complement to the theme of this year’s president, Francine Mathieson – Be the Good.
And while you don’t need yet another thing to do, how many of you would like to:
- Increase your concentration and improve your memory?
- Connect better with people on an emotional level?
- Feel happier, calmer and less stressed?
Then reading, as little as six minutes a day, can help you do that.
A study on stress was done at the University of Sussex – yes, it’s in England, so it may or may not be on your daughter’s college list.
It showed reading was better at lowering stress than a number of other activities, such as listening to music, taking a walk, drinking tea or playing a video game.
Reading focuses your mind and crowds out worries – with no hangover, extra calories or other bad side effects. What could be better?
Thanks to Debra Young-Stearns and her team, you have a reminder bookmark on your chair about keeping calm and reading a good book.
The next time we meet at the library, visit the new releases section. It’s like being in a bookstore and walking out with every new book you want – for free!
(And post-inspiration talk, I took my own advice and found Frank Bruni‘s terrific book, Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, pictured above).
There’s also a great new book out by Brené Brown called Rising Strong. You may have watched her popular TED talks or read her books. Her new book is about resilience and bouncing back from adversity.
I first heard Brené when I was driving to Lake Arrowhead a year ago to meet our very own Beth Graziano and other friends for a family weekend. And I have a feeling Brené and Beth would be the best of friends.
My life was busy, so I drove up by myself after the rest of the group. And I found the TED talk playlists to keep me company – pick a topic and you’ll be entertained by 18-minute talk after talk for several hours.
The last one as I wound my way up the mountain was called The Power of Vulnerability. With more than 21 million views, it has struck a universal chord.
I closed with a few words from Brené’s talk. About our children being wired and ready for struggle and being worthy of love and belonging. And about believing that “we are enough.”
Because, as Brown says, “when we work from a place that says, ‘I am enough,’ we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
I am enough. You are enough. Enjoy this beautiful season.
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